People with a Speech Impediment or more commonly known as a Stammer

The following is a personal short story and is why I have chosen to follow and learn more about NLP and Hypnotherapy.

My Journey with Conversation

 

Many people who have known me throughout my life will tell you that I have never been a confident speaker. From as far back as I can remember I have had a speech impediment. You can call it a stammer or a stutter, but I always called it my speech problem.

Throughout my school life I was made fun of and was picked on by my peers and some teachers. Good friends however, always stuck up for me.

When I was at school I got out of speaking in class. Well - meaning teachers would never ask me questions that required a response, with the intention of protecting me from ridicule from my peers.

This might have worked at the time, but the ridicule was always there. I developed a thick skin and said to myself, 'the problem is their problem, not mine.' Later I will refute this.

Over the years I let my problem get me out of doing things, e.g. making phone calls or speaking to new people. It enabled me to hide away in my bubble and make excuses as to why I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of life. It was everyone else’s fault as they don’t understand me.

Plus, what made it worse was that the well -  meaning people were supporting me in the decisions I made to keep myself in my protective bubble. I had years of speech therapy and it taught me a few good techniques. However, it was not practical to use in the outside world as speaking in these techniques was unnatural and would sound like I had a worse condition.

So thinking of what career I would go in to it had to be one that required very little communication, so I decided on being a chef. I trained up in it but, while at college I had to act as head chef and call out orders. This was a terrifying ordeal for me as this was a very important speaking role. I realised that the more spontaneous I was speaking, the more fluent I was. This worked very well for this occasion and some others, and I got a lot of praise and respect for doing something most others do effortlessly. However, not thinking before you speak can get you in to trouble sometimes. So, the inevitable speaking to myself in my head had to continue. With me and some people with the same condition, the internal dialogue is the problem. I think about what I am going to say and rehearse it round and round and it forms a loop. So, when the time comes to say what I want to, I am too wrapped up in the loop and the block forms. This results in not getting the words out, no matter how much I try to.

I can tell you from my own personal experience that I know which words I am going to block on before I do it, and then switch it for a similar word. This too has got me in to trouble because the meaning of what I was trying to say was lost due to compromising the sentence I was saying.

So why is it that I know which words I am going to block on when am I sabotaging my speech?

I guess if I knew the answer to that I wouldn’t do it, or would I?

For many, many years I have thought and thought about this and how I can simply not do it.

It is learned behaviour and I am an expert in it, nobody knows more about it than I do. I have made it my life's work, I have transformed it from a tick to what some may perceive as a full blown seizure. It is the one thing I have expertly done throughout my life.

Now, where has this got me?

Why have I cultivated this utterly useless skill?

Was it to give me a comfortable stress free safe life? Is this what I got?

The answer is a very big no. All it has done is to hold me back it has served me no purpose whatsoever.

 

Through trying different techniques to rid myself of this problem, from speaking to myself looking at a mirror and reading books out loud, all did help by the way.

I have to restructure the way I think and take full responsibility for me and know that the only one who can help me, is me.

This is when I went through NLP breakthrough session with hypnotherapy. I was lucky that I have a friend who is highly trained in this.

This taught me that I do have the power to take control and be the person I want to be.

I no longer have to have the anxiety and fear to communicate with others.

This is not an instant fix, but what it is, this will build your confidence day by day.

If you have the confidence and belief in anything you want to do, you will do it if you are prepared to do whatever it takes.

I will not pretend that I am 100% fixed but I will say that I am 90% of the way there. So much so that I am a NLP Practitioner and Hypnotherapist.

I spent my life avoiding a career that involved speaking and now I have one that involves 100% speaking and the more speaking I do the better I get. A solid example of this is when I am doing hypnosis on my clients.

Now I want to help others with the same problem I had and I understand this problem more than any other. I have had nearly fifty years of experience living with this condition.

I would gladly help you for free. As this is a vocation for me, I want you to help me to help you. However, there would be no value in it for you and therefore the processes would not effectively work.

All I will charge is £10 per hourly session. This is more of a token payment rather than a charge.

I want to help you to help yourself, all you have to do is to contact me.

Anthony Kelly.